23rd
OH NO TUMBLR, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
I feel like one of the main focuses on tumblr is love. There are countless quotes and photos themed on all-encompassing, passionate, perfect love. I’ve succumbed to this trend more often than not and it is so easy to get caught up in this whole crazy idealism of love.
My post a while back “I want a boy” which described some specific things I would love to find in a guy received over 600 and is obviously something a lot of other girls are hoping for too.
But I can’t help but think that this really can’t be all that healthy for me. I mean, here I am, sitting at my computer dreaming and fantasizing about love, making lists of attributes and hyping it all up immensely in my mind. To the point where I am not sure if any boy could fill the giant whole I have created in my heart. I’m not sure if anyone could meet the insane expectations I have built. Here I am expecting some boy to come and make everything perfect, I am expecting fireworks when we look in each other’s eyes and total euphoria when we kiss. And I’m afraid that all this longing for love and hype that tumblr has given me on it is going to lead to some sort of disappointment.
Love is something that you can’t have expectations for. It’s not something you can put in a box and think “This is exactly what love looks like.” Love is spontaneous. Love is unique. Love is irrational and carefree. Not something you can predetermine.
So I really hope that tumblr hasn’t ruined the surprise of love for me. I hope when I find a boy I can just be happy with him without expecting perfection.
I think I am going to stop longing or love. I am going to stop looking for love. I am going to just go on living my life and erase my expectations. So that when love does find me I can just be delightfully surprised. Nothing more. Nothing less.
sshhhhhhh. what would tumblr be without all the flowery aesthetic of love? i, for one, don’t stick around for the poundcake.
being reminded of how love feels without really taking part in it is a great way to keep yourself away from growing up without giving up or getting hurt, for instance.
